Main Street


Average Overall Rating:

(3 out of 5)

Average Coffee Refill Rating:

(3 out of 5)

(2 out of 5)

Review by: governor_judy on 5/5/2006

Overall Rating:

Coffee Refill Rating:

Expense Rating:

Well, I just don't understand two kinds of people: Democrats (well, and a growing number of Republicans who seem to have gone 'soft') and those who think breakfast has to include GOOD prices, GOOD food and GOOD service. Hey, two outta three is GREAT in my book, if you can even FIND 'em in a greasy spoon! Here at the Empire Cafe in Lewistown, though, you can easily get two out of three, but when you place your order, you don't get to choose anything other than what you want to eat. You won't know if you are gonna get good ANYTHING, so you should be happy with what you get.

That was the cornerstone of my campaign, as well as my term in office as guv'ner of the State of Montana. I NEVER told you voters that you'd get GOOD leadership, GOOD decision-making and GOOD ideas. And since I didn't TELL you any of that, I was not obligated to do anything but bad-mouth anyone who didn't vote for me. Oh, I also had to spend some time (at the taxpayers' expense) on a land purchase deal, but don't call ME Hillary! NosirreeBOB!!!

Back to the food.

The color of the ceiling of this restaurant is what I like to call 'Nicotine Sunrise'. The carpeting was once a pristine white. It is now browner than that flood of undocumented workers coming across the border from Canada or France or whatever. Now on THAT particular note, you're going to take what I say right out of context. I can't help that. Call me racist if you want-----I know what I meant, and I'm not obligated to clear any (increasingly BROWN) air for the liberal media.

Oh, I was going to tell you about the food, that's right.......

Have anything that will also get you hashbrowns and sausage gravy. It looks good, smells good and tastes good, and we can convince you to eat it and swallow it, but digesting it and putting up with it in the future won't be pretty.

NOT UNLIKE my policies and procedures while the Commander in Chief of the State of Montana before that farmer from somewhere in the Western (aka DEMOCRAT) side of the state followed me into office. His approval ratings are at least double what mine ever were, but I never relied on polls anyway. I was accused of being 'out of touch' with the voters, but really, I'm from BUTTE. Unless YOU'RE from Butte (and white, Protestant, heterosexual with ten kids to prove it----AND of course REPUBLICAN!), too, I don't really want to touch anyone.

Award Nomination: Best Bargin Breakfast

Review #7424


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Reviews submitted here are meant to pertain to breakfast only. While Mr Breakfast cannot vouch for the validity of each restaurant review, he feels pretty good vouching for the excellent character of the residents of Lewistown, Montana - who are primarily responsible for the review(s) you see above for Empire Cafe.